The Personal Challenge

I resonate with Ronald A. Heifetz's suggestion that the strongest leaders get on the figurative balcony. Too often, in my experience, young leaders get caught up in the personal experiences of a group's members, or get wrapped up in the social drama of the group. In particular in NFTY and at camps I have noticed counselors and unit heads lose sight of the big picture of their programs, fail to keep their goals in mind, and wind up being a part of a teen group's gossip, asking kids whom they have a crush on, wanting to join in the group's dance, etc. In essence, trying to be a participant rather than a leader. On the other side, if the leader becomes out of touch with the group's needs or mood or keeps great physical or emotional distance from the group, he/she is also then not leading, but rather observing from afar. By standing in Heifetz's balcony, the leader has a view of what's going on and remains in the audience, so he/she is part of the performance experience but is not an actor in the show.

The leader should be a member of the group, but the distinction between leader and participant needs to be very clear. We need leaders to guide us, give us direction and help set the big picture goals. Without these people, we would be disorganized and lack direction. Even if a group's members push for more free time, for instance, they sub-consciously want and need the leader to push back and remind them of why they are here.

Standing from the balcony, the leaders can get the perspectives of staff, participants and supervisor, receiving a full picture. I would add that leaders need people he/she trusts and respects (the staff) to be in the audience, staying closer to the participants, as well as security guards by the door and also roaming the halls of the theater to get the more subtle picture of the group's dynamic. If leaders only notice what they see themselves, they won't get an accurate account. We have to trust others to stay in touch and notice what's less obvious, for instance, the student who sneaks alcohol or the student standing outside the theater because she is being excluded by her friends. It's a delicate balance and not an easy one to achieve.

Heifetz points out that it's difficult to find one's way to the balcony when we as leaders are in a new place, an unfamiliar setting, dealing with a new group or a new program. He proposes that the way to the balcony is by identifying the challenges, remembering our role, finding partners and keeping a sanctuary space.

At Peace Players, I am still figuring out my role. I'm somewhere between a participant and leader on the basketball court. I don't directly coach the kids, but I also am not a member of the team. I am somewhat of an assistant coach, I guess, like a staff member, so I'm in the middle of the court (not the balcony), attempting to get an understanding of their needs and have fun with them. Today, for the first time, I felt a little bit of acceptance on their end (the kids). I think the players were also trying to figure out my role, just as I was. Today, I got a few "good jobs" or "kol ha-kavods", more passes and conversations. It feels good to be establishing my place.